2009 is gonna get to the end and 2010 is coming..I pray to God and wish to have the better year and years ahead to come..I had been so bad through out this year..I just don't know why I could feel this way..Sedih jadi org tak berduit...useless of myself as i can't contribute anything to my family. ~nangis~
People, do imagine that I had quit from getting more or less 3K drawn every month..I don't mind as there will be my dream is waiting ahead but now I have no words to tell what is goin' to happen if it is not for real..Ya Allah..please show me the way and give me the strength to go through all these feeling..
I can't shop of my interest (i don't mind of this), I can't contribute for family expenses and I can't give pocket money to my mom was the most frustrated. And I can't do anything with 1.3K allowance given..it's totally not enuff even to support myself in campus..but thank God for providing people around me whom are so kind to help..Paling sedih bila terpaksa pinjam dari sisters.. ~nangis lagi~ My sisters, I believe you guys is reading my blog silently, I really appreciate of what you guys had sacrificed to help me..
And things that happened last night was when I went to QB Mall, I had came across with some stuff that I wish I could get it but the size I'm looking for was no longer available..again I don't mind but what had made me to feel so bad was when I can't afford for another additional amount of money which hundreds is wayyy more than it..beribu apatah lagi laaa..and again I had missed the thing that i really wish for years I could get it..
Here I could see why the people tends to give up with their life when everything they wish they could get but yet they can't just because they don't have money..I can't afford to be a 'hamba duit' yg kerja siang malam as I love my family so much, I can't afford to leave my boys just because of it but I also can't afford when I have no money to comfort myself and though my family..
Boboy, please apologize mummy okey..I am not purposely doing this to you and neither our family but bear we still have papa..He had sacrificed a lot for us..Maybe not this time from mummy but I'll make sure to make your future to be better than what I had went through insyaAllah but please promise me that you will be a good servant of Allah when you grow up and strive the better life for us yeah..I love you and papa so much as no words can describe it my dear..
~therefore dear, mummy tak boleh tido sepanjang malam nii...sorry for not hugging you this whole night~ MAMA..I am proud of you but too bad I am not as strong enough as you.. :-( i am kinda give up of myself for being so bad all this year...Please GOD i hope for the better days and years ahead to come to be with the person that i love soooooo much..Aminnn...
Makasih En. Ayam Jantan for reminding me that it's now already SUBUH..nak pi semayang sat then nak tido..good night..erppsss...good morning...papaiii.... ~ i wish i could fall asleep later :-( ~
7 comments:
imma..take it easy...although ufa am a working mother when it come to money still feel not sufficient...emm maybe kita ni kurang bersyukur kot..hubby selalu ingatkan jangan bandingkan diri dengan orang yang lebih tapi dengan orang yang kurang....kita perempuan ni banyak memikir kot imma..~sigh~
bukan tak bersyukur ulfa cuma keterkilanan (betul ker ada perkataan ni) ni sgt terasa..can't afford with the reasonable reason i wouldn't mind ulfa...tapi..
dan bukan membandingkan diri dgn siapa2..i accept and appreciate of what we have for now..tapikan ulfa knp dugaan ni hanya pada ima.. :-((
Masih adakah sayang walaupun ada simpati..susah kan..
what happened imma? cam susah hati benar jer bunyinya... dah dapat posting ke? cheerful ok.. jangan banyak2 pikir sangat...
Ntah laa Mash..kdg2 rasa kecewa jugak bila apa yg kita idamkan masih tak mampu jadi kenyataan even it is already really closed to our eyes..but yet still missed..mungkin bukan rezki and mungkin jugak we don't desreved for it..wallahualammm
yer laa kan..kita mampu merancang tp perancangan Allah tuh lagi lah sempurna..pasrah jugaklaa wpun berat..
Posting..?? not yet Mash..tgh sengsara menuggu nih dgn rumors yg mcm2 nii...mmg susah hati...
Rileks Imma...God knows best. apa yang Dia bagi terima ja dengan penuh kesyukuran. U know one thing, someone I know ni, instead of berdoa sentiasa dimurahkan rezeki I always heard him berdoa agar dia merasa cukup dengan apa yang diberi. Alhamdulillah, walaupun dia tak terlalu berharta but happy with his family.
I want to be like him too, insyaAllah. :-)
thanks Bai...really wish if I could have better life ahead insyaAllah but doesn't meant Ima tak bersyukur dgn apa yg ada..cuma kekecewaan tuh kdg2 susah nak dielakkan..
Apa2 pon mmg Ima sgt bersyukur..Alhamdulillahh bila dikurniakan dengan mereka2 yang masih sayangkan kita...
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